Thursday, September 20, 2012

People Around Me Just Don't Seem to Care or Notice

Do you know how it feels to have no friends?  Only fake ones?  That's me in college.  After one month I have 0 friends.  The people I thought were my friends...just found out they're not.  They keep forgetting I exist.  When I talk to them, it all seems fine and dandy, however now I'm starting to notice it's actually not.  Rarely will a floor-mate talk to me first unless it's for something like a ride to town or someone to work out with them.  Tonight at the homecoming bonfire, a guy who I thought was my friend introduced all of his floor-mates to his band, but not me.  I was standing 2 people away from him, and he knew I was there.  People have been telling others that they can see them being friends for all 4 years.  No one has told me.  When I talk about times at home/ doing things in the future they all shrug it off and don't really mean it when they say "yeah sure" or "totally."  When I talk to people it feels like they would rather have me gone and just talk to everyone else around them.  They don't like it when I'm there.  It's really hard being in a place where you have no friends.  When you hear about your friends back home doing things together it hurts even more.  Between my brother and I, I've always been the one who made friends easily, but when he went to college, he still had friends from high school, and gained some more.  I have no one.  There's one guy, my boyfriend's best friend, who's here, and talks to me sometimes, but I can't tell if he actually wants to, or if he's just using me for back massages.  I feel so depressed right now, and I have no one to help me stop drowning.  I don't know what to do anymore.

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